Oscarathon 2017: Oscar Live Blog

In All, Movies by David

The day has finally come! The Oscars are here. You can look at my final predictions or just thoughts in general if you are bored, but now we can finally get things started, so join along, and let’s have some fun and jello shots!

9:19 PM: So like seriously, there will be much to discuss, but like umm great night. Moonlight becomes the lowest budgeted film ever to win Best Picture, and ends with three wins. La La Land ends with six wins, and looks classy for how it handles this. This is probably the best result ever for all involved. Stay tune for more as this Live Blog comes to an end.

9:16 PM: Like someone is getting fired, but dude this is the craziest ending I have ever seen.

9:12 PM: Oh shit, this is unbelievable… Moonlight actually won. Like people came up and took the Oscars from them. The wrong card was given to the presenters as Emma Stone was listed instead. Like holy shit, La La Land totally deserved to win, but Moonlight winning so much a bigger deal. This is huge. Like amazing. I have never seen something like this. Like dude, I have never seen this before.

9:09 PM: The winner is La La Land. This is well-deserved no matter what people might say. La La Land ends up with seven Oscars, which was the low end of what I thought it could win, and probably will help some with the backlash because it didn’t win everything. At some point…

9:05 PM: Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway presenting gives a real air of class to this.

9:03 PM: So heading into the final award I am 14 for 23. Time for Best Picture. Can anything stop La La Land?

Also this…

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La La Land: Strawberry Jello, Peach Schnapps, and Gold Sparkles

8:58 PM: The winner is Emma Stone. I am sorry about Isabelle Huppert’s loss here, but this is also deserved. Great win, and a good way to liven the room back up after the Affleck win. She is thrilled, and giving a great speech. Rock on!

8:54 PM: Time for Best Actress. Nice montage again. The room is still a little stunned from the Affleck win honestly, but let’s go with Leo coming out to show off his Oscar Swag once again.

8:51 PM: The winner is Casey Affleck. So I am very conflicted here. Like this is so deserved from a pure performance perspective, but sigh not the best look. Denzel Washington does not looked amused. So yeah… Look basically this.

8:47 PM: We are back for Best Actor with another montage. Nice so Best Actress gets the last spot before Best Picture. This is a tight race. How will this shake out?

8:42 PM: Halle Berry is out for Best Directing. Huh, before acting, weird. The winner is Damien Chazelle for La La Land. Well he is now the youngest winner ever at 32, which is both inspiring and depressing all at the same time. I wonder if everyone figured there was no suspense with this so they just moved it up.

8:36 PM: More food is dropping from the ceiling, and I am 12 for 20.

8:34 PM: Best Adapted Screenplay is up with Amy Adams. The winner is Barry Jenkins for Moonlight. So awesome. I am glad he is getting an Oscar no matter what now. Great speech!

8:32 PM: The winner is Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea! Hurray! He totally deserved this award. Great speech. I am now 10 for 18.

8:28 PM: Kimmel is back to make fun of Matt Damon with We Bought a Zoo. Brilliant. Time for Best Original Screenplay with Ben Affleck and guest presenting. I wonder if the La La Land snubs will backfire in a undeserved win here. Haha, Matt Damon is being played off whenever he talks. Amazing! Kimmel is conducting the orchestra.

Hell or High Water: Orange Jello and American Honey Whiskey

8:24 PM: Yep, that was as painful as I expected.

8:22 PM: Well time for the saddest In Memoriam ever… This will hurt. I need a lot of drinks.

8:20 PM: So 9 for 17 now. Over .500 for the first time since the beginning of the night.

8:18 PM: Nope, La La Land wins, and “City of Stars” keeps up its streak. These winners are fucking ready. They are rolling through their speeches. Damn. Great speeches.

8:17 PM: Time for Best Original Song. Will the double La La Land nomination cost it? Are we getting an EGOT moment?

8:15 PM: Nope, the winner is La La Land. A well-deserved win no matter what else has happened.

8:12 PM: I am at 7 for 15 at this point. Kimmel is back with some more bits with Lin-Manuel Miranda. Samuel L. Jackson is out for Best Original Score. If La La Land loses here this will be the real backlash.

8:09 PM: So John Legend sang the La La Land songs, and man I like “City of Stars” like ten times more with him singing. Audition is still so much better.

Moonlight: Blueberry and Tequila and Candy Moon

8:02 PM: Time for Oscar Mean Tweets!

This is probably accurate.

7:58 PM: Meryl Streep and Javier Bardem are out together to present Best Cinematography. The winner is La La Land. La La Land joins Hacksaw Ridge as the only multiple winners of the night. La La Land picks up a big win, and is still on track for a big, but not huge night.

7:55 PM: I always want to see more of the Tech Oscars because I would actually learn something.

7:52 PM: John Cho and Leslie Mann are out to talk about the Tech Awards, which means everyone is going to stop paying attention.

Lion: Lemon Jello, Coconut Rum, and Curry

7:50 PM: I am now 6 for 15. I knew I would have an off year eventually.

7:44 PM: Time for Live Action Short and Documentary Short. First up is Documentary Short. The winner is The White Helmets. One of the Syrian films pulled off the win. Cool. They are reading a statement by the leader of The White Helmets. Awesome! Now time for Documentary Short. The winner is Sing. Well my dark horse won, but not my actual prediction.

7:42 PM: Ummm, so that Will Smith Netflix film Bright looks awesome. Just saying.

7:40 PM: Well more candy after a great bit between Kimmel and the kid from Lion. Meanwhile, La La Land is still struggling. I doubt this leads to a big upset in the end, but it is wounded at this point.

7:35 PM: Michael J. Fox and Seth Rogan are out with the Delorean and Back to the Future shoes for Best Editing. Will La La Land continue to get back on track? Nope the winner is Hacksaw Ridge. That makes me 6 for 13. BAFTA is proving strangely right in some places, and John Gilbert gives a shout out to Mel Gibson.

Hacksaw Ridge: Lime Jello and Whiskey.

7:32 PM: The winner is The Jungle Book. As expected (sadly), so that makes me 6 for 12.

7:30 PM: Time for Best Visual Effects. I believe in you Kubo (well I can have hope).

7:29 PM: This is a nice segment about people from foreign countries talking about their favorite movies. Nice touch.

Hidden Figures Shot: Blueberry and Burbon with Silver Sparkles

7:25 PM: So I am 5 for 11 now so that is kind of respectable instead of hilariously terrible.

7:22 PM: Well that bit was amazing. Like one of the better ones ever.

Fences Jello Shot: Cherry Jello, Brandy, and Bitters

7:19 PM: Denzel Washington is a champ. Nice selfie.

7:17 PM: The tour bus gag is coming to an end as they get to walk into the Oscars. They looked confused as hell, and thrilled.

7:14 PM: Production Design is up with umm Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson as presenters. The winner is La La Land well that run is over so La La Land haters umm yeah this is happening. First Oscar for La La Land, and I have started actually picking winners so I guess that is something.

7:08 PM: Best Animated Short is up, and the winner is Piper. Pixar finally wins again. I am off, but that is fine. Now time for Best Animated Film. The winner is Zootopia! Well the Disney run continues. So like whatever. I was correct, but not all that happy about it.

7:01 PM: So Sting is out to sing, and prove that if you are big enough star they will let you sing no matter how small your movie is. Nice song though.

6:57 PM: Time for Best Foreign FilmThe winner is The Salesman. Aww, I wanted to just keep being wrong. Farhadi has a prepared speech against the Muslim Ban. So there is that moment.

6:54 PM: Yep, who ever gives the next speech might as well just be like, “I’m good.”

6:52 PM:  So far this has been a nice blend of correct decisions and surprises. Let’s see if that continues.

6:45 PM PST: The winner is Viola Davis. Time for the best speech! Exhume all those stories indeed. Like I have no proper words. This is phenomenal.

6:40 PM PST: Time for the Viola Davis I mean Supporting Actress Award. Davis is so overqualified for this category for her role in Fences, but fine whatever it takes. Another nice montage.

6:37 PM PST: Vince Vaughn is out to talk about this years Honorary Oscars. Congrats, and I still wish one of these speeches was still at the real Oscars.

6:34 PM PST: The La La Land haters have to be loving it. The film will not be breaking or tying any records this year. We’ll see if this continues. It is going to win soon so I guess enjoy it while you can.

6:29 PM PST: So will Arrival pull off the double win? Or is the first win for La La Land. The winner is Hacksaw Ridge. Holy shit Kevin O’Connell just won an Oscar after 21 tries. La La Land continues to be shut out, but damn great for O’Connell who finally got an Oscar. The split did happen, I was just wrong about which films it happens with so you know one for six. Let the futility continue!

6:26 PM PST: The now Fast and Furious movie is going to be great. Well there is the food bit that I expected from Kimmel. Now time for Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing. The winner is Arrival. Well Arrival gets an Oscar. That BAFTA win showed a lot. well one for five as maybe I will just miss everything for the rest of the night, which would kind of be fun.

6:24 PM PST: Oscar President time so umm go and get a drink or listen I guess to it because it will be better than normal.


6:19 PM PST: Well that was awesome because Cravalho is amazing. She handled that flag mishap brilliantly.

6:14 PM PST: Kimmel’s OJ jokes take things down a bit, even if they are hilarious. Now time for The Rock, who talks about singing, much to the delight of Hailee Steinfeld. He introduces “How Far I’ll Go” with Lin Manuel Miranda and Auli’i Cravalho.

6:11 PM PST: The winner is O.J.: Made in America. Well I knew it was one or the other. The bad streak continues as one for four, but good win, and a big win for ESPN. Netflix takes another loss on the chin. Great speech.

6:10 PM PST: I swear to god if Life, Animated wins somehow I will stop watching.

6:08 PM PST: Kimmel is back out to talk about Hidden Figures before the three stars Octavia Spencer, Taraj P. Henson, and Janelle Monae and her amazing dress are out for Best Documentary Feature. First though holy shit they brought out Katherine Johnson like the real Katherine Johnson. This is amazing.

Well there it is.

6:00 PM PST: Now time for Costuming this could be a sign of a huge, and I mean huge La La Land sweep. The winner is oh Colleen Atwood for Fantastic Beasts. Damn, costuming royalty continues with her fourth win. This is a bit of a surprise, and means La La Land isn’t heading to an absolutely ridiculous sweep. I feel for Jackie though. Well one for three. This will be a long night…

5:56 PM PST: Kimmel is out with the fake news references. Now time for Best Costuming and then Best Hair and Makeup Styling with presenters Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman. Makeup and Hair Styling. Oooh another chance for rage. The winner is Suicide Squad. Damn, I knew this troll win was coming, but wasn’t willing to commit to it. And boom there is the immigrant reference. Well one for two.

Also everyone, Janelle Monae’s dress, like come on. This is awesome.

5:52 PM PST: Classy speech full of genuine emotion. Ali has long been unrecognized for how awesome he is so I am glad the world is finally catching up to how great he is. Let’s hope this good feeling carries through the night. Oh also I guess I am one for one.

5:49 PM PST: Mahershala Ali wins!!! This is the best. A nice start to the night, and I am ready for a great speech.

5:46 PM PST: Alicia Vikander is out to present the award. This could be a good or bad start to the night. Let us see if Twitter will start off the night in an even more angry state.

5:45 PM PST: Supporting Actor is up first. There is a nice montage of past winners.

5:43 PM PST: There is the Meryl Strep talk, and everyone loves her. This is why I still think she could win tonight so everyone can love her more. I mean she probably shouldn’t, but she could.

5:40 PM PST: Direct President Trump reference, and a way to poke fun at last years Oscars. Hailee Steinfield’s reaction is great. Haha, this group of films has quite a few sad endings. Also so true, no one really saw Elle (well who voted).

5:36 PM PST: Kimmel is up, and starts with a great Timberlake burn. He does some nice remarks about uniting us in these time sort of. Now the Matt Damon bits begin. Great well The Great Wall burn.

5:35 PM PST: That was fun. Good start to the show, and well now I am kind of like maybe Timberlake should have just hosted.

5:30 PM PST: Hey, they are starting the show with a Best Song nominee. In this case Justin Timberlake and “Can’t Stop The Feeling.” this is a good call, and a good way to use Best Song.