So things have been bit a barren lately, but never fear, the 2016 Emmys have arrived, and with them another live blog. Unlike the Oscars, where I can pretend to know what I am talking about, peak TV means that a lot of tonight will be acknowledging how much great television (or television, anyway) I haven’t been able to see this year. So stay tuned tonight for all the coverage.
5:02 PM PDT: And we are live with the opening skit. Looks like Jimmy Kimmel is going to drive up to the Emmys with various parts of pop culture. People’s V. OJ, Modern Family, and even James Corden. This has promise.
5:05 PM: Haha, now some Veep references. Oh my god, it’s Jeb Bush… Points for Jeb.
5:07 PM: And there is the Game of Thrones reference with a literal burn of Ryan Seacrest.
5:08 PM: Kimmel appears and immediately gives an Emmy to Jeffrey Tambor. Let’s hope this isn’t a repeat of when everyone thought he would win a Golden Globe. Kimmel makes the probably correct statement that basically no dragons or White Bronco, no Emmy.
5:09 PM: Kimmel is on the ball so far by bringing up how much television there is to watch, and thus we will never watch it all. Great Louie Anderson burn, and also mixed Oscar burn, but it is true, the Oscars and Emmys are not friends.
5:11 PM: The Trump jokes have started. Poor Mark Burnett… Wait, no one ever says that. Nevermind.
5:12 PM: Oh man, if the Maggie Smith rule existed, the Emmys would be far more interesting.
5:13 PM: The stars of blackish Anthony Anderson and Tracee Ellis Ross are out for Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. The winner is… Louie Anderson. Probably deserved, though I have to agree that maybe this role didn’t need to go to a man (okay, it most definitely didn’t need to), but still, good for Louie.
5:16 PM: Lots of thank yous, but you do you, Louie. Also, I think I just saw Tatiana Maslany give a ‘what is happening right now’ look because of all the thank yous. There we go, Anderson is played off. Great start, Emmys. I don’t even know if I am being sarcastic or not.
5:23 PM: Got to get those ads in so that the winners can get played off. Time for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series. Julie Bowen and Matt LeBlanc are out. The winner is… ooh, Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang for Master of None. The Veep (or maybe Transparent) award trains may not be as strong as most would have thought. Bold choices awarding “Parents,” an episode that is both poignant and funny. Haha, Ansari tried to run back on stage to speak as a joke (or possibly he made it look like a joke).
5:27 PM: Joel McHale and Kristen Bell are out to present for Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. The winner is… Kate McKinnon for Saturday Night Live. The year of McKinnon really is in effect. Well-deserved. She can barely get her speech out as she is genuinely touched by this win. A very nice speech, and thankfully she was not played off.
5:30 PM: Time for more commercials. Though looks like Lead Actress in a Comedy Series is up next.
5:35 PM: It’s the stars of Fresh Off the Boat Constance Wu and Randall Park to talk about the Creative Emmy Awards, and talk about who won for Best Guest Actor and Actress in a Comedy, which were Tina Key and Amy Poehler and Peter Scolari.
5:37 PM: Peter Scolari is out to announce Directing for a Comedy Series. The winner is… Jill Soloway for Transparent. This could set up an actually suspenseful Best Comedy award later tonight. What a novel concept.
5:40 PM: Great speech, and of course the Emmys play her off as she starts talking about real issues. Sigh… Well, she ignored the music, and said her piece anyhow.
5:41 PM: Keegan Michael Key is out to announce for Outstanding Lead Actress. Will this continue the trend of the Emmys being different…? Nope, Julia Louis Dreyfuss wins again for Veep. Maybe we should just retire this award until she is done with Veep. Would save time, certainly. Still, jokes aside, a deserved win, because she is awesome. Julia apologizes for everything, including the current political climate since reality is now resembling the show way more than expected.
5:45 PM: Jeffrey Tambor is out, and says they took the Emmy back from him He gives a shout out to Garry Shandling before throwing to a video package about Shandling.
5:47 PM: Hmm, are the Emmys doing the individual tributes like in 2013, or was this a special one? I guess we’ll see. It was touching, and maybe this will work better than it did three years ago. Now time for commercials though.
5:52 PM: Hmm, is it too soon for Bill Cosby jokes? Still, the reaction of the audience was amazing. James Corden is out to announce Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. The winner is… actually Jeffrey Tambor. This time the called shot win joke actually works. I wish they simply didn’t have a Emmy, and had let him keep the one from earlier. Still, another classy speech from Tambor.
5:55 PM: Haha, they tried to to play him off, and he was like no, so that he could stress that he really wants trans actors and actresses to be cast, and hopes that he is the last cisgender person to ever win for playing a trans character. Nice!
5:57 PM: Mandy Moore and America Ferrera are out to announce Best Reality Series. The winner is… The Voice. I wish I could pretend to care what won for this category, but yeah no.
6:00 PM: There are a lot of “producers” on The Voice. OMG, the kids from Stranger Things are handing out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to everyone (okay, to a few people, and then some poor PAs or theatre employees gave out the rest). Still awesome.
6:06 PM: Well, time for the accountants. Hey, it’s Leslie Jones. At least they are trying to make this worth watching. A for Effort! The faces of the accountants are priceless.
6:08 PM: Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn from Scandal are out to talk about the People V. OJ Awards I mean Limited Series or Dramatic Special. First up Outstanding Writing. The winner is… D.V. DeVincentis for the People V. OJ Simpson. It begins. This will be a theme.
6:11 PM: Now time for Supporting Actress, and the winner is… Regina King for American Crime. Awesome she won again, and took advantage of there being no People V. OJ nominees in this category. Enjoy the reprieve while you can. This is a nice win indeed.
6:14 PM: Kimmel is back with juice boxes. Amy Schumer is eating her note. This joke is still working somehow. I think I may have been Stockholmed by the Emmys.
6:15 PM: Pryanka Chopra and Tom Hiddleston are out to announce Directing. The winner is… Susanne Bier for The Night Manager. I figured there was no way they would bring Hiddleston out unless his show won. Nice win, though, and that is two for two for female directors so far.
6:19 PM: Is that John Mayer playing the house music at the Emmys? Huh, that’s weird and both cool and depressing. Well, time for commercials.
6:22 PM: Terrence Howard is out to present for Supporting Actor in the Limited Run block. The winner is…Sterling K. Brown for the People V. OJ. Back on track now.
6:25 PM: Great speech, and man, seeing a person that really wants to win is always great. Great win. And the play off music tries, but is ignored.
6:26 PM: Claire Danes and Bryan Cranston are out for Lead Actress. The winner is… Sarah Paulson for the People V. OJ Simpson. If she hadn’t won, I think people might have just left. I mean, she brought the real Marcia Clark with her.
6:30 PM: The music is getting more ballsy, and is playing Paulson off as well. Have to save time for non-Limited shows I guess. Time for more commercials….
6:34 PM: Kimmel is back with more OJ jokes, and now Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are out to show off their Guest Actress Emmys, and give many half-thanks. They are also announce Lead Actor. The winner is… Courtney B. Vance for the People V. OJ. Another inspired win, and his speech is awesome.
6:37 PM: Kyle Chandler and Michelle Dockery are out to announce Best TV Movie. The winner is… Sherlock: The Abominable Bride. Huh, well, Steven Moffat gives a funny speech, so there’s that.
6:40 PM: Keri Russel and Liev Schreiber are out to announce the winner for Best Limited Series. The winner is… People V. OJ. Holy cow, they are super being played off the stage. The Emmys were totally just like, you won enough, get off the stage so we can do more commercials. Also, Ryan Murphy is now King of Television. Or at least limited run television.
6:47 PM: Aziz Ansari is out to announce Writing in a Variety Special. Ansari thanks his parents, and brings up his earlier win. Eventually he announces that the winner is… Patton Oswalt for his comedy special Patton Oswalt: Talking For Clapping. Oswalt is genuinely surprised. Good for him.
6:50 PM: Kit Harrington and Andy Samberg are out to throw out some staged sound bytes for next year’s Emmys. They now announce Variety Talk Series. The winner is… Last Week Tonight. John Oliver continues the tradition of John Stewart and Stephen Colbert, as he will probably win this for the foreseeable future. Oliver actually asked to be played off. Nice.
6:55 PM: Kimmel is back, and oh, it’s Matt Damon there to rub in that Kimmel didn’t win. Amazing. This joke never gets old, and dear lord, he is eating an apple. How do you like them apples, indeed.
6:57 PM: And the Playstation Vue is going haywire, so I’m watching this bit again. So that is a thing. Well, I’ll catch up during the commercials.
7:03 PM: And we’re back, with Laverne Cox to announce Directing in a Variety Special. The winner is… Thomas Kail and Alex Rudzinski for Grease: Live. Nice, and sweet speech.
7:06 PM: Damon Wayans is out to announce for Variety Sketch Series. The winner is… Key and Peele. Huzzah, they get a win in their last year. Well-deserved. Probably should speak quick or they will be played off… too late, already happened.
7:09 PM: Well, time for the only thing the Emmys actually care about: Drama. Abigail Spencer and Rami Malek are out to announce the Best Actor and Actress in a Drama series. The winners were Margo Martindale and Hank Azaria.
7:10 pm: No, actually, Martindale and Azaria are out to announce Writing in a Drama Series. The winner… Game of Thrones for “Battle of the Bastards.” Well, the Game of Thrones train continues. I really wish it had picked a different episode, because the writing is not this episode’s strength, or really the show’s strength in general, but oh well. This is still great for the fantasy genre as a whole. Benioff and Weiss do their best humblebrag again, because why not.
7:17 pm: Time for President of the Emmys or whatever to talk about stuff. Oh, and the Creative Emmys, which are awesome, so yay, Creative Emmys!
7:20 pm: Minnie Driver and Michael Weatherly to announce Outstanding Supporting Actress. The winner is… oh my, Maggie Smith. Well, that worked well, and continued the curse of Emmys for non-Dinklage Game of Thrones actors or actresses. Kimmel says she can find the Emmy in the lost and found.
7:21 PM: Next up is Directing. The winner is… Miguel Sapochnik for “Battle of the Bastards.” This is a much more deserved win, as the directing in that episode is astonishing. Now more commercials.
7:28 PM: Taraji P. Henson is out for Supporting Character in a Drama Series. The winner is… Ben Mendelsohn for Bloodline. He isn’t here, so I wish Kimmel would come out to continue the joke, but oh well.
7:30 PM: Henry Winkler is out to speak about Frank Marshall. Looks like they are doing a mix for in memoriam this year with individuals and the group as a whole. “Hallelujah” plays as they show all those lost this year.
7:35 PM: Worked pretty well. Nice tribute.
7:40 PM: Allison Janney is out to announce Lead Male Actor in a Drama Series. The winner is… Rami Malek for Mr. Robot. Malek stakes his claim in the first non-Hamm and Cranston year in quite some time. Get used to this, because he is probably winning a lot of these. Malek’s suit is awesome.
7:45 PM: Kiefer Sutherland is out for Lead Actress in a Drama Series. The winner is… Tatiana Maslany! Holy shit, it actually happened! The Emmys actually gave her an Emmy. I mean, wow, this is awesome. So deserved. She clearly is befuddled because seriously, did that just happen?
7:52 PM: Larry David is out for Outstanding Comedy Series. The winner… Veep. The Veep train continues. This might last for a while so you should probably get used to it as well. Nice to see they got time to actually speak, as things have been a bit rushed, and by a bit I mean very rushed.
7:57 PM: Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz are out to present for Outstanding Drama Series. The winner is… Game of Thrones. The reign of our new drama overlords continues for a season that deserved the win probably a lot more than last season, if we are being honest. Long live the Thrones!
8:00 PM: Kimmel signs us off, and that’s it!
That’s it for the 2016 Emmys. A pretty good show with a nice mix of winners, even if the Emmys couldn’t help but be a bit too predictable at times. Still, things felt much fresher than they have in years, so that is a good thing. Anyhow, have a good night everyone!