Today’s Killtoberfest movie Xtro is like watching this:
and then all of a sudden you’re watching this:
It’s a really terrible, boring melodrama about a family where the husband returns after disappearing for three years and the boyfriend is upset and mom is conflicted interspersed with just fucking insane shit. Suddenly Dad’s eating snake eggs because he came back different and now the kid’s best friend is a homicidal clown toy come to life and he wakes up in the morning covered in blood and the doctor’s like “well, he seems fine” and nobody seems really concerned about WHERE DID ALL THE BLOOD COME FROM. And then it’s back to, can we all just have dinner together without arguing? Can Dad rekindle his romance with Mom? Meanwhile he melts phones when he touches them for no reason and full-grown adults are crawling out of pregnant women and other women are being made into egg-sacs because of course, why wouldn’t they be perfect for that?
In conclusion, don’t watch Xtro. But by God, if you ever get the chance, fast-forward through that motherfucker and stop at the good parts.
GAZE INTO THE EYE OF MADNESS: